Victoria’s Notes and Secrets for Success!
April 3, 2011 Training No CommentsHOW TO SAY “NO”
I’ll admit, years ago whenever someone had a request or wanted me to do something, like volunteer, assist them with a project, I always said yes. Part of this is because I don’t like to leave people hanging, disappoint them, burn down a bridge with others, or jeopardize my relationships.
Hence, I say yes where I can, and say no as less often as possible.
Realities of NOT Saying No
While saying yes seems like an easy answer for the reasons above, it’s not necessary the best answer all the time.
Just like saying no has its implications, NOT saying no also has a downside as well. For every yes, there’s also a NO!  Think about it:
- When you say yes to something you don’t enjoy, you’re saying no to things that you love
- When you say yes to a job you don’t love, you’re saying no to your dreams
- When you say yes to someone you don’t like, you’re saying no to the possibility of welcoming a new and fulfilling relationship
- When you say yes to working overtime, you’re saying no to your social life
Many people know me today as a past Executive for Corporate America, marathon runner, Ironman Triathlete, Entrepreneur, Author, motivational speaker and blogger.
I’m pursuing my passion, to help others grow and be their best. I really love my life and I’m happiest than I’ve ever been. Each day I experience a new level of joy that I’ve not felt before.
Yet, I did not start out like this in the beginning. The very reason why I’m here today is because I said NO to many things that blocked or supported my dreams:
After 20 years with Corporate America and several career moves, I finally said no to no more career moves after deciding it was time for me to seek new challenges. I loved my tenure with my company, I loved everyone I crossed paths with, I loved each challenge and the responsibility, and I loved the company. The money was great; mentoring people was my forte and all the lessons I personally learned as a leader was invaluable. But I realized, I have a passion and love for helping and watching others to grow. I love pursuing many items on my life’s list as well as my purpose in life.
I have said no to friendships that were holding me back and surrounded myself with friends that were like minded. I love the people around me more than they know, so much so that if there comes a point where the friendship is no longer compatible for us, perhaps it’s time to walk our paths and pursue our individual life journeys.
I said no too many unimportant activities. If something doesn’t have a purpose to it, and seems like a waste of time, I don’t participate in it. I value my time a lot and I only want to spend it on things and with people I love. That’s what it means to live life to the fullest, via maximizing every moment we have, doing things we love, and things which are important to us.
I said to NO to many professional and business opportunities, some which were very lucrative. Why do I say NO then?  Because they’re no longer in alignment with my personal vision for my life’s work. If it’s not going to lead me to my end goal, I’d rather invest my energy and time into a place that does. Otherwise, it’s going to be a waste of everyone’s time and resources. Â
I said no to potential clients. While this doesn’t happen all the time, I get potential clients who are not good fits with the coaching. It happens when they see the coaching as a magical solution to all of life’s problems without having to do anything, when they are not willing to put in the due work to achieve their goals, and so on. I want all my clients to get every cent of their money’s worth from the coaching, so in such cases I rather not take them on because I don’t think they’ll be able to get any meaningful outcome. While it means losing out on revenue for the month, I’d rather earn the money from helping people I know will definitely reap the rewards.
There are many other things I said no to in my life and that I continue to say no to on a regular basis. If I haven’t said no to all the things above, I’ll would never have the time to create new blog postings, write new ebooks and continue to mentor people and develop my business, to reach hundreds of thousands of people around the world, create a top quality blog, have time with my family and friends, cultivate high quality, meaningful and fulfilling relationships, and live the life I love today.
The path of realizing your truest dreams requires you to say a lot of ‘no’s. No’s to unfulfilling jobs, no’s to a career you’re no longer passionate about, no’s to outrageous requests, no’s to unhappy or negative people,  no’s to draining activities, no’s to meaningless tasks, no’s to many  things.
Look at how you’ve been living your life in the past week and think about what you’ve been saying yes to. Have you been saying yes to an unfulfilling job? Yes to unfulfilling relationships? Yes to people who don’t respect your time? Yes to people who don’t appreciate you? Yes to work you don’t enjoy? Yes to activities you dislike? Yes to people who don’t appreciate you? Because if you have, what you’re really doing is saying no to your ideal life. Is that what you want? Are you being fair to yourself?
I hope you have enjoyed today’s Post!!!
Stay true to your passion….and just say “NO”
All the Best
Victoria
